It’s been one of those days.
All I feel like doing is running away. Hiding from the world.
In my deepest most secret part of me I want to be in a cabin in the bush. Far, far away from everyone with just my family and the dogs and cat. I want the only problems to be darkening my door to be is there enough fire wood cut for the wood stove? Do we have all the vegies weeded and is the broccoli ready to be harvested yet? Is there enough wool spun ready to knit warm socks, mittens and jumpers? Have I enough food stockpiled to see us through the winter? Are my family sitting down around the fire engaged in quiet projects that don’t involve TV, computers or loud music? Is it the latest seed catalogues what we are discussing or are we planning tomorrows chores? Do I have some warm winter woolies on my needles and does Ashley sit in front of the fire quietly relaxing while he toasts his feet by the crackling warmth? Are the children all home and safe not miles away from me?
Yes I want to run away to a simplier time where power bills, computers, security cameras and braces don’t even have a look in on our family.
Today, in order, I have had Elise on the phone nearly having forty kittens at the power bill she had just received. I thought it was fairly small but Elise didn’t think so.
I had James come home in tears as the teacher took his net book away from him for two days as he was playing games in class time when the class rules clearly state that he can’t. I did ring the teacher and had her side of the story and as much as my son doesn’t agree with me I agree with what the teacher did. He also has to apologise to her tomorrow for being disrespectful and has been told that his behaviour is not on.
Nicola had an orthodontist appointment where we were told she had teeth that were not coming through as he thought they should and we should see the dentist and have them removed. The Ortho didn’t actually say whether they were causing any problems though. When there is a problem then we will deal with it. We were also told that she would have the metal retainer on her bottom teeth on permanently and would have to use the clear plastic retainer at night……..FOREVER….to prevent the teeth moving!!! Hello – what they didn’t think to mention that fact that a retainer would be a life time accessory when we first saw them about getting braces? Needless to say Nicola is fairly P^&%#* at the whole braces thing and has declared she will wear the retainer for another six months then that’s it. I’m staying out of that argument for the moment as the last thing I need is another lot of tears.
Ashley came home thorough frustrated as he has spent all day trying to get a remote security camera on a shed to work and to get it to relay it’s pictures back to the farmers computer with no luck.
I felt totally defeated by the entire day. Nothing seemed to go right. The weather is cold and miserable and making everyone else miserable. I feel like one more problem is going to be just that – one more bloody problem that I don’t want to and won’t deal with.
Then I read Jenna’s latest post The Dusty Road at Cold Antler Farm.
I know that no matter what happens in this world my family are the most important and cabin in the bush or house in the town, we will survive and thrive. Problems will happen no matter where we live and running away from it all won’t solve anything. I know that while many will read this post and move on to the next blog, many more will be nodding their heads and saying “been there, done that”. I know I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and torn in different directions and feeling like I’m facing a mountain of tasks which I may never climb let alone conquer.
Guess what. None of that “stuff” matters any more.
Jenna’s post put it all into perspective for me. I’m not alone. So many others are walking a similar path to me. So many others feel like running away. So many others want a simple life where life has meaning and those petty worries like electricity bills, braces and school discipline really are only a minor blip on a day. So many others just want their families around them and to feel safe and warm.
Tomorrow is a brand new day and I refuse to let today’s problems dictate what tomorrow will be like.