This small peice of household equipment is ruling my life at the moment.
Don’t be deceived by it’s innocent looks and deceptive air.
Without it I’m lost.
Totally, completely, irrationally lost.
I’m back working with Ashley again. Nothing strange in that – it’s happened over the years, more so of late.
Work is incredibly busy and I’m putting in far longer days than I ever have before.
Days that mean, without my trusty timer, I wouldn’t get anywhere. It follows me around my house in an attempt to stay on top of all that needs to be done.
I get up in the morning, dressed, breakfasted, washing on and then the timer gets set. In 20 mins the load of washing will be done so I have that long to clean up.
There’s 10 mins before I have to take children to school – the timer gets set so that no one is late and just maybe I might get something else done in that 10 mins. I have a spare five minutes so I can do some spinning – and I do literally mean five minutes. Getting the picture?
Honestly this lifestyle is driving me nuts.
I know I shouldn’t complain. With plenty of work it means we can pay the bills, put food on the table, clothes on our backs and have a little money to put away ready for the kids education. There are plenty of other families and individuals out there who don’t have the advantages we have. I just didn’t realise just how hard or even guilt enducing it would be.
I don’t mean that the kids have to let themselves into the house or come home to an empty home – I still pick them up and ask about their day – but then I have to go back to work and miss out on that time which I didn’t realise just how much I cherished. Sitting around the kitchen table after school, having afternoon tea and discussing what everyone has done in a leisurely manner. Finding out what’s happening in the next week or do. These days unless they have jotted a note in my dairy there’s a very good chance the whole event is forgotton or remembered at the last minute.
Both girls have been sick this week. Now while they don’t need me hovering around them – after all they both slept for a good part of each day – I still felt guilty that I wasn’t there to take care of them.
While I will never claim to be the best housewife in the world and having a home that looks like it has just come out of a Better Homes and Garden Magazine is completely beyond me even on a good day – I did pride myself on the fact that at least our house looked tidy and there wasn’t dishes all over the sink or washing piling up in the laundry. Hah – that’s now a thing of the past!!!
The kids have been fantastic and have really stepped up to the mark and helped out as much as they can – but then the guilt comes in again. They are children and while I believe that kids need to work so they realise just how much effort goes into getting things done – I didn’t think for a moment they would have to do as much as they have been doing. On the other hand I give daily Thanks that they are the sort of kids they are and they do help with out complaining (most of the time).
I honestly don’t know how wives and mothers work full time, take care of their homes and families and still have time for themselves, whether it be crafting or going to the gym or just meeting up with friends for a coffee. You ladies need a medal for all that you do.
I know in time life will get easier and eventually this haze of exhaustion will lift I’m just not sure I’m going to make it to that time.
It may very well be the straw that breaks the camels back so to speak. In the five plus years I have been blogging I have had time off – mini breaks in order to catch my breath and deal with the issues that are in front of me – but this time it’s different. I’m nearly at the point of stopping blogging for good.
It’s something I need to think long and hard about – right after I have thought about what’s for tea, how many more loads of washing need to be done and where the heck did I put the iron the last time I used it.
Forgive this “poor me” post. Ignore it if you like.
I just needed to get things down on “paper” so I can take a long, hard and serious look at where my life and that of my family’s is going then maybe I can make some rational decisions about what I want to achieve and what can’t be.