Ok so this is going to sound like a seriously weird post.
I drive. I drive every day. I drive every day around our town. It doesn’t worry me after all I have lived here all my life and know it like the back of my hand – in fact probably better than the back of my hand. I can drive out of town. I’ve driven to Goodnight 40 mins away. I can drive to Bendigo – two hours away. I know I can probably drive further but to be honest I haven’t had to.
Once Ashley and I had to take Nicola to Melbourne for some tests. I decided that I would drive. I had to see if I could so that if something ever happened to Ashley I knew I could take over the driving and be competant at it. We got to Maldon and had a loo stop. I came back out from the toilets and here was Ashley in the drivers seat. His excuse he couldn’t stand just sitting in the passenger seat doing nothing. So much for seeing just how far I can drive.
Now my dilemma is that the Stitches and Craft Show is on in Melbourne on the 11-15 March and I would dearly love to go. Occasionally there is a bus running from Swan Hill down to it – but it is seriously expensive and I would kind of like to have a go a driving down there. Ashley would take me – after all I have run around at his events etc for years – but he would be bored stiff or trying to limit my spending….vbg…..which we all know just wouldn’t happen.
My little car is quite safe and reliable and would get me there no problems. Ashley says he will give me the GPS so I don’t get lost. This year the Craft show is at the Melbourne Show Grounds which is heaps easier for me to get to as it’s “my” side of Melbourne. Elise tells me I’m fine and that she would go with me if I wanted her to.
The problem is “ME”. Can I do it? Could I actually negotiate my way over four hours of travelling to go and see something I that really want to? I know I would have to have an overnight stop somewhere – probably Bendigo – which would give me another reason/ excuse to go shopping….not that I need to many excuses.
So now I’m asking is the Craft Show really worth going to? It’s years since I have been and while I really enjoyed it at the time – the memories are a little fuzzy. I know it’s months away but honestly it will take me that long to gear myself up to actually going. Yes I know it sounds stupid and obviously I need to do some long distance driving to get myself over this mental block I have and trust me I do feel stupid.
Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a post asking for a lift or a driver. I need to do this – myself! I just need/want some reassurance that the craft show is really going to be worth the long drive and mental gear shifting that I am going to have to do. I’m sure once I have done it once it will be easier the next time – it’s just that first time.
I am having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that I am 40 years old and darn it I will admit it “afraid” of driving anywhere other than locally. Once upon a time I would have just popped in the car and gone – but no longer. I’m not blaming anyone it’s just one of those things that has happened. Even my Mum drives further than I do – but I also remember a time when she only drove around town too. She once told me when I expressed concern over the distance that she had to travel to play croquet that getting in the car and travelling was the best thing she ever did after my parents seperated. It showed her that she was a whole person – not half a person who couldn’t do anything without their partner.
Ashley’s all for it. Elise is all for it. It’s just me.